Lets talk crying and sleep support, often called sleep training, sleep coaching, sleep teaching – the list is endless. Often people assume this means you have to let them cry unsupported for long periods of time to get results. This (very understandably) can increase anxiety and it simply isn’t for them, or they feel very uncomfortable about it.
The main method I use when supporting families does not require you to leave them to fall asleep alone. I always discuss crying with families as often little ones do get upset. It is important to understand why and how we can help support them. It is also really important to look at why they are upset. We often discuss whether it affects attachment or has an impact on them long term.
Central to this debate about children’s psychological well-being and physiological health are cortisol levels. These are often referred to as stress hormones. Attachment between the child and parent is also a concern.
Why does sleep support often include upset?
The main reason for upset through sleep support (never start if they are poorly/in pain) is because it is different. Babies do not know why it has changed or what is going on. They would prefer to go to sleep in the way they know and expect. Any upset is generally due to frustration and being annoyed that we have changed how they fall asleep. This is different to if a little one is in pain or ill, they need a cuddle – we all do!
Does sleep support affect stress levels?
Research by Michael Gradisar and others has been instrumental in shedding light on concerns around crying and sleep support. Gradisar, a clinical psychologist and researcher, has conducted various studies focusing on behavioral sleep interventions and their impacts on both children and adolescents. His research generally supports the efficacy and safety of structured sleep training methods, which aim to help everyone get more rest.
One of the key findings from studies in this area is that sleep training methods do not produce long-term stress as measured by cortisol levels in children. A study led by Gradisar investigated the cortisol profiles of infants before and after undergoing sleep training interventions. The results indicated that cortisol levels sometimes spiked during the initial phase of sleep training. However they returned to normal once the sleep training period was completed and the children had learned to settle themselves to sleep. This suggests that the increase in stress hormones is temporary and comparable to what might be experienced during other daily challenges and learning experiences.
What about attachment?
Furthermore, concerns about attachment—the emotional bond between the child and the parents—are also common when discussing sleep training. Attachment theory states that a strong emotional and physical attachment to at least one primary caregiver is critical for personal development. Critics of sleep training worry that letting a child cry without immediate comforting could harm this attachment. However, research, including that by Gradisar, has not conclusively shown that sleep training negatively impacts the parent-child attachment. In fact, improved sleep patterns can enhance overall family dynamics by reducing parental sleep deprivation and related stress. Often families tell me their babies are happier and more engaged after supporting their sleep. To find more information on Gradisar’s research click here:
As a parent myself, of course upset from our children can be challenging and my methods look to reduce this whilst also supporting their independent sleep skills and confidence. I recommend speaking to a sleep consultant before you start working with them to find out more about their approach and if they are the right fit for you. The decision on who you choose to help support your baby or child’s sleep is deeply personal. It should be made with a full understanding of both the potential benefits and challenges involved.
To book a free 15 minute call and find out how I can support you all, click here.
